Waiting Game..

Recently, my husband and I decided that at the end of the year if we weren’t expecting a baby we would get rid of all the baby stuff that in the last 3 years has over-run our home.

You moms know what I’m talking about. That wonderful living room, that once upon a time was used for cuddling with your man and the occasional tryst on the couch, is now reminiscent of a Gymboree classroom. There are tubs of toys, a rocking giraffe, plastic tricycle, and a Winnie-the-Pooh push toy that not only made it through my kids but my sisters 2 kids before them!

And that’s just the stuff that they use now. There are boxes and bags of toys/clothes and all the baby gear you can think of currently being stored in our attic above the garage! OY!

So although I hate to part with it because of all the memories it stores, I know that if I have any chance of getting my house put on the market next Spring, the clutter is going to have to go.

But really that’s not the issue. There is a big fat elephant in the room and currently it’s waving it’s middle finger at me.

A baby.

We have talked about it and we know that we want one more child. My husband is 10 years older than me and he doesn’t want to be retirement age when our youngest graduates high school. But am I ready to think about having another baby right now?

Our youngest, was for a lack of a better word, a surprise. We weren’t even thinking about having another child and then BAM! There she was.
We tried for close to 4 years before we were blessed with our first child. We attended countless doctors visits, took pills, had tests ran, small procedures performed, the list could go on and on. Each month when I got my period it was like my heart was being ripped out of me. The stress that was on both my husband and I was HUGE.

I’m scared to go back to that. The feeling of being a failure is not one I recommend to anyone. It literally broke my spirit, so much so that when the pee test said I was pregnant, I didn’t want to believe it because I just knew that my hopes were going to be squashed again.

So here I am, thinking of a new baby and the wonderful things that come with him/her and inside I’m dying because I just started my period.

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