The day was like any other.
What to do with the kids during a crisp fall day? My answer was of course going to Wal-Mart to spend some money because I can single handedly bring this country out of its recession. (If I was given all the money to do so!) And since I can’t afford to go to the nice expensive stores, Wal-Mart was my destination.
I decided it was the day to browse since I really didn’t need anything and, let’s be frank; even though I would love to spend gobs of money, I just don’t have the resources to do so. I mean hello! I write a blog in lieu of any formal entertainment!
I was checking out the clearance rack in the boys section when my boy mentions, “I need to go poop.” Being the good mother I am and always encouraging my son to listen to his body, I respond, “Can you hold it?”
Of course all I received in response was a firm nod “no.”
So off we went. My youngest in the cart and the boy trotting closely behind with a pucker factor of 7. It was pretty funny watching him waddle after me. Luckily we weren’t too far from the restroom.
We pulled up outside the door and I unbuckled the girl and the boy went in ahead. We were fortunate enough that the large stall was empty so in we went. The boy frantically got his pants undone and then needed help getting up on the seat. My mission for the next few minutes while he did his business was to keep the girl from touching anything disgusting. Like say the floor! Yep, she likes to peek under the wall and see who is in the stall next door.
It was music to my ears for the boy to finally say, “I’m done!” We took care of the dirty stuff and then were getting ready to walk out to wash our hands when Ian became mesmerized with what was in the bowl. You see, our Wal-Mart has self flushing toilets. When the sensor sees nothing in front of it, it flushes. Since there were so many of us in the stall it hadn’t flushed yet and the boy was able to take a look inside. And boy, he couldn’t believe what he saw.
“Look at that Mommy!”…”That’s the biggest poopy I’ve ever seen!”…”Do you think Daddy has poops that big?!”
This of course was exclaimed in his “outside” voice and I was quickly trying to hush him much to the enjoyment of several other ladies that had joined us in the restroom.
The real kicker was that the boy’s excitement brought his younger sister to his side and she could be heard making “oooh” and “ahhh” sounds. I believe the word “wow” was even used.
Now in all honesty, the boy had produced something pretty impressive for a 3 year old ,but seriously does every Wal-Mart shopper want or need to know about it?
And so the toilet finally flushed and we ALL washed our hands; as we left I said the only thing that would take the image of my son’s “big” poops out of their minds.
“Son, your Daddy has poops that the toilet can’t even choke down.”
The chuckles of our fellow restroomers followed us out the door.