5 Things I Never Thought I Would Say

I waited a lot time to be a mom.

If you are a frequent reader than you know that it took Hubs and I almost 4 years before we were blessed with our son. I couldn’t wait for that moment. Like most first time moms I had visions of grandeur. You know what I’m talking about. The perfect child who would sleep through the night as a baby and be well behaved as they got older. My days would be filled with words such as “Oh sweetheart, you don’t need to pick up toys yet;” and “What’s that? You’re going to bed now? But it’s only 5:30!”

Boy, weren’t those a delusion!

Instead I’m left with the top 5 things I never thought I would say as a mother.

  1. “If you just let me sleep for 3 hours I will buy you a car on your 10th birthday! Okay make it your 5th!” – said to a screaming 6 week old when he couldn’t seem to sleep longer than an hour at any given time.
  2. “Stop eating the dog food!” – I don’t know if it was because it was kinda salty or what, (yes i ended up trying a piece to figure out what the attraction was,) but my kid would quietly sneak to the dogs dish to grab a little snack.
  3. “If you keep doing that your friends at school are going to call you ‘Booger,'” – after a day of watching him endlessly picking his nose and eating it during sports camp. Every picture I took from that day he’s missing a finger because it up his nose.
  4. “Don’t pull on your penis that hard!” – said during bath time when he was about a year and a half old and thought his penis was pull string.
  5. “Son, your Daddy has poops that the toilet can’t even choke down.” – said in a Wal-mart bathroom after my son had a complete conversation with me about his poop.

Who says motherhood isn’t glamorous??

Comments

  1. Kids have a way of changing our lives in manners we never could have guessed.
    Jack´s last blog post ..A Six Year-old Speaks of Marriage

  2. haha, I totally hear you. Course I was the type that thought I’d have dinner made by the time the hubby got home (I can barely cook), and have cookies on the table when the kids got home from school. (Umm, mom to four it isn’t happening.
    homemom3´s last blog post ..Top 10 Things to Bring to Hotels

  3. so so true!! Love it!

  4. Oh, My I love it!!! Isn’t it amazing the things that come out of your mouth on as a mom!!!
    Pepper´s last blog post ..Wordless Wednesday- The Climber

  5. Love it! I think motherhood was invented just so that we can escape the confines of what we think reality should be like so that we can do and utter the most ridiculous things and yet be perfectly in tune with other moms as we do it.
    Jenine´s last blog post ..Meet Me on Monday

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