There are times when I just don’t know where I belong when it comes to being a military wife.
Meaning, I AM a military wife. That much I do know. But really what does that mean?
If it means my husband is in the military than I guess that I fit that criteria.
If it means my husband uses alphabet soup on a daily basis and I understand most of it, then yep I fit that.
If it means my husband has an “E” grade, well then I fit that one too. But I can’t help feeling that that is where it ends.
My husband is an active duty Guardsman; an active duty Air National Guardsman to be exact. He’s been active duty for about 4 years now and before that he was a drill status guardsman. When he first signed up I was pregnant with our son. All was fine and dandy and then we found out that he needed to go to a tech school, he would be gone for 60+ days and he would have to leave exactly 1 month after our son was born. It was a very hard time for me, one that I think about now and still tear up over. But I survived, and I tried to keep my husband updated about our son as much as I possibly could. Whether it meant daily pictures or just an email describing 5 week olds first smile. I knew it was my job to make sure he knew he was on our minds every second of every day. I tried in earnest to keep my fears, sadness, and failures to myself.
And when our time apart was up, I was the first person in his arms when finally exited the gate area of the airport.
I feel extremely fortunate that that is the longest taste of deployment we have ever had to endure. Perhaps, that’s way I feel displaced amongst other military wives.
I read posts about 18 month deployments, cross country moves, and even going through childbirth alone. And I can’t relate to any of it.
Please don’t misunderstand, I’m not saying that I wish I could relate to all of that, I’m just trying to find my place.
Maybe, I’m just trying too hard. Maybe I need to just focus on the things that I can relate to when it comes to military wives. Maybe instead of focusing on what it means to be a military wife I need to focus on what MAKES a military wife.
If a military wife is a strong supporter of her husband, that’s me.
If a military wife defends her husband and his choice to be in the military at all costs, that’s me.
If a military wife stays strong when her husband is gone (even if for just 60 days), that’s me.
If a military wife is the first in her husbands arms at any accomplishment he procures, that’s me.
And above all, if a military wife can’t help but tell everyone what their husband does and how proud they are of him, than that’s me.
I guess we’re not that different after all.