Not in the cards..

It’s really hard to put yourself out there.

Especially when that thing your putting out there is as personal and emotional as weight.
I knew when I applied to be a Mamavation Mom that I would have to separate the emotions that are attached to my weight in order to be able to post about my weight loss journey for virtually the whole world to see. I would be sharing my ups, downs, successes, and failures. Not to mention a picture of my scale each week.

That picture I posted of the number on the scale earlier today was hard to publish. Of course I’m proud that I lost 4 pounds last week but I am ashamed at the number that is still displayed. The fact that I let myself get to this point upsets me the most. Thus, the reason I committed to the change.

I applied for Mamavation Mom to give myself a driving force. The support of many women, all who are going through or been through the same things as I. Most importantly, women that don’t have to give me their support. I know my family and friends will always be there for me, but the fact that these women don’t know me from Eve and here they are day in and day out to support, encourage, and push me to do better is amazing!

There were 21 well deserving ladies that applied to be 1 of only 2 Mamavation Moms. Leah Sedegie aka Bookieboo had the hard task of narrowing the 21 to 5 before voting opened up. I believe that the competition was so fierce that she ended up picking 12 instead.

Sadly, I was not one of those 12.

I’m not going to lie. I have cried. Am still crying in fact. I put myself out there and it didn’t pan out. I’m entitled to feel a sense of loss, I badly wanted this opportunity. And I have to admit it sucks even more that I can’t blame it on anyone :).

Looking at the 12 ladies that were chosen, the majority of whom I have gotten to chat with on Twitter, not one of them shouldn’t be there. Their stories are all incredible and inspiring. The determination they have and the kindness they show has come back full force.

I encourage all of you to go and check them out at the Mamavation Voting page and vote for the one that you think would be an inspiration to many.

What about me? Will I apply again? I honestly don’t know.

My whole being is committed to leading and maintaining a healthier lifestyle. I’ve already committed to running a 5k in March, (which I know all my friends won’t let me get out of.) I’ve still got a great support system through the Mamavation Sistahood even if I’m not a finalist or a Mamavation Mom. I’ve promised myself that when I wake up on my 33rd birthday, I’ll be able to look back in awe at what I have accomplished. So that means that I will dig that much deeper into myself and make it happen!

I have no idea when Mamavation Mom Campaign 8 will be, but I guarentee that I will be a much smaller Mad Hatter Mom by then.

*I have to thank my husband for his unwavering support in all I set out to do. I also want to thank all of my readers, twitter followers, Mamvation Sistas and my Mom Spark Media ladies for showing their support for me these last 2 weeks. It has meant so much to me!

Comments

  1. Oh, Tina, I *so* understand what you’re feeling! I applied for the very first Mamavation campaign (when I think there were only FOUR finalists chosen!) and just like you, I put it ALL out there. When I wasn’t chosen as a finalist, I felt so discouraged. But just like you said, I had to pick myself and keep moving forward. I haven’t applied for Mamavation again, but I have moved on with my own goals and systems for support, and I still think Mamavation is an amazing opportunity. I’m sorry it didn’t work out for you this time around, but chin up, mama – you’re doing great!!

    • Thank you Stacey!

      I’m too stubborn to give up now.. I’ll be just as svelte as my logo by BlogHer ­čÖé (ok so maybe not THAT svelte, but much more than I am now.. LOL)

  2. Tina,
    I’m sorry to hear that this opportunity didn’t work out. I’m inspired by your passion and continue to stand behind you in your goal. I also want to wake up on my 33 birthday a smaller me. I know the struggle; I’ve fought it throughout life.

    Let the tears fall now, you ARE entitled to these feelings. You have support. And it’s been my experience that with every lost opportunity, 2 more present themselves. And they always end up being more powerful.

    Hang in there!
    Jessi┬┤s last blog post ..Happiness Journal- January 9

  3. Hang in there girl…I am disappointed you didn’t make it too! Bummer…but there are many of us doing the same thing, trying to lose, and we can all be there for each other.

    Love ya girl…I am going to SITS bloggy boot camp and that is my goal…to be much thinner so I don’t have fat face in my pics! lol!

    Thinking about you girl!
    Tammy┬┤s last blog post ..Aloha Friday Tears for Edie

  4. Don’t let this get your down. You can still reach your goal regardless! You have a lot of girls behind you cheering you on!
    Amy┬┤s last blog post ..Trademark Discount Code From LegalZoom

  5. Tina! I am soo sorry. I am sad for you…BUT…you can do with or with out Mamavation. I will support you all the way. I need to lose at least another 5 lbs (down 15) and I love your idea of doing the Just Sweat on Just Dance. I never thought of that. See?? Inspiring all on your own. Be proud of your self that you were brave enough to put yourself out there.
    Jen(CraftyMomof3)┬┤s last blog post ..Say Hi Sunday Blog Hop @CarrieWChildren &amp Mamavation Contest @MadHatterMom Mamavation

  6. Definitely be stubborn! You need to keep with it to lose. I hope you will be a top contender in the Move it & Lose it Challenge, I have a feeling I will be there myself. Don’t get me wrong, I am working on votes, but need to exercise, too!

    The winning pot for the challenge is still a fabulous goal, right? And I am sure by 33 you WILL be smaller. (BTW I only have 10 months left to make that goal) *Hugs*
    Andrea Kruse (@notimeMom)┬┤s last blog post ..Giveaway – Glam Up Your Girl With a Tutu!

  7. I’m so sorry you’re hurting. It’s hard to be turned down for any opportunity but especially when it’s tied to your own emotions so much. I will pray for you. Weight loss is not an easy thing but it’s certainly doable. If you need any support or encouragement or event a shoulder to vent on, stop by and let me know.
    Ellen Christian┬┤s last blog post ..Weight Watchers Chicken Paprikash Recipe

  8. You are a winner in my book just for doing this and putting yourself out there. Seriously… rawkstar material.
    Steph┬┤s last blog post ..My Son The YouTube Entrepreneur

  9. I just wanted to let you know that I know exactly how you feel. I applied last campaign. I was so confident with all of the supportive tweets. When the finalists were announced, I was so excited that I checked at work from my phone. Big mistake. I was so upset at not seeing myself on the list I was in tears. I had to go through the rest of my shift as upset as I was. The next day I sucked it up and decided that I was still going to kick butt in the Move it and Lose it challenge and make the best out of the resources I had. I hope you are able to apply next campaign, because maybe it will be in the cards then. ­čÖé
    Angela @ Nine More Months┬┤s last blog post ..Mamavation Monday 01-10-2011

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