It’s really hard to put yourself out there.
Especially when that thing your putting out there is as personal and emotional as weight.
I knew when I applied to be a Mamavation Mom that I would have to separate the emotions that are attached to my weight in order to be able to post about my weight loss journey for virtually the whole world to see. I would be sharing my ups, downs, successes, and failures. Not to mention a picture of my scale each week.
That picture I posted of the number on the scale earlier today was hard to publish. Of course I’m proud that I lost 4 pounds last week but I am ashamed at the number that is still displayed. The fact that I let myself get to this point upsets me the most. Thus, the reason I committed to the change.
I applied for Mamavation Mom to give myself a driving force. The support of many women, all who are going through or been through the same things as I. Most importantly, women that don’t have to give me their support. I know my family and friends will always be there for me, but the fact that these women don’t know me from Eve and here they are day in and day out to support, encourage, and push me to do better is amazing!
There were 21 well deserving ladies that applied to be 1 of only 2 Mamavation Moms. Leah Sedegie aka Bookieboo had the hard task of narrowing the 21 to 5 before voting opened up. I believe that the competition was so fierce that she ended up picking 12 instead.
Sadly, I was not one of those 12.
I’m not going to lie. I have cried. Am still crying in fact. I put myself out there and it didn’t pan out. I’m entitled to feel a sense of loss, I badly wanted this opportunity. And I have to admit it sucks even more that I can’t blame it on anyone :).
Looking at the 12 ladies that were chosen, the majority of whom I have gotten to chat with on Twitter, not one of them shouldn’t be there. Their stories are all incredible and inspiring. The determination they have and the kindness they show has come back full force.
I encourage all of you to go and check them out at the Mamavation Voting page and vote for the one that you think would be an inspiration to many.
What about me? Will I apply again? I honestly don’t know.
My whole being is committed to leading and maintaining a healthier lifestyle. I’ve already committed to running a 5k in March, (which I know all my friends won’t let me get out of.) I’ve still got a great support system through the Mamavation Sistahood even if I’m not a finalist or a Mamavation Mom. I’ve promised myself that when I wake up on my 33rd birthday, I’ll be able to look back in awe at what I have accomplished. So that means that I will dig that much deeper into myself and make it happen!
I have no idea when Mamavation Mom Campaign 8 will be, but I guarentee that I will be a much smaller Mad Hatter Mom by then.
*I have to thank my husband for his unwavering support in all I set out to do. I also want to thank all of my readers, twitter followers, Mamvation Sistas and my Mom Spark Media ladies for showing their support for me these last 2 weeks. It has meant so much to me!