I use Facebook for keeping in touch with family members, high school friends, all my fellow mommy bloggers, and companies.

It really is a great tool, plus just a lot of fun! I can spend hours on the thing just reloading to see who has posted something.

However; I didn’t think that Facebook would change my view of my step daughter.

You see my step daughters have never been asked to call me “mom”. From the time I met them I have always been “Tina.” When introduced to friends it was “Tina.”

Now, I will be honest. My oldest step daughter and I do not have a very good relationship. Perhaps, I didn’t put in enough effort or I just got burned too many times; regardless my youngest step daughter B and I have gotten along a lot better. B was the inspiration of this post.

Recently, while on Facebook I received a notification. You know the little red box in the lower right had corner that lights up when one of your friends does something. Well, I clicked on it and the simple sentence I read made my heart jump…

“B has listed you as her mother.”

Does she call me mom.. no. But I don’t mind; I have learned that loving and supporting is enough to make her happy.

There are days when I think back and wonder what ever persuaded me at the age of 22, to marry a man 10 years older than me and who already had 2 daughters.
Of course, the answer is always love. That darn addicting feeling that draws you in and fights you when you try to leave it.
I don’t regret my decision but there are always those thoughts in the back of your head saying, “What if…”

Well, today was one of those days when I am thanking God for giving me the step-daughters I have.

I work part-time as a 9-1-1 dispatcher. The luxury is I get to choose my hours based on the available overtime. The down side is, sometimes I only have graveyard shifts to choose from. Last night was one of those times. I was scheduled to work from 11pm to 3am. Usually I’m able to get to sleep right when I get home but for some reason I couldn’t get to sleep until after 4am! It definitely makes it hard to get moving when your little ones come in your room at 6:30!

Well my youngest step-daughter, who is actually 17, (It’s hard to believe trust me, I met her when she was 7,) stepped right up and helped out. When she woke up the kids instantly wanted to go down stairs with her and she didn’t hesitate. She fed them breakfast and kept them entertained while I dozed on and off upstairs.

Now sure this isn’t a HUGE deal. But just the fact that she did this on her own. I didn’t ask her, or tell her to do it. She just DID it!

It makes me so proud that I had a hand in raising her and she’s turning into such a caring, compassionate young lady. It keeps the hope alive that I’m raising my young kids right too!

photo credit: tabrandt

Growing up I thought I would be a lot of things at the age of 25; successful at my career, a wife, a home owner, community advocate.

However; I never imagined that in addition to those things I would be a 25 year old mom of 2 tweenagers.

When I found myself in this position I was naïve enough to think that it would be a walk in the park. We could talk about boys, and problems at school. I would be the one that they would come to for all those embarrassing things that happen when your body starts growing up. What I didn’t take into account was that this mindset would eventually put me between a rock and a hard place.

I fell into the rut of wanting them to like me so badly that I forgot I was also a parent, an authoritative figure. So when times came that I had to take on that role the girls were confused and would easily became upset.

When I noticed this happening, I realized I had to make a decision. I had to decide to be friend or, for lack of a better word, foe. There could be no combination of both.

My decision was the latter. I made a conscious effort to always be available and approachable if they had something they wanted to talk about but I quit seeking them out.

The girls still come to me with things that weigh heavy on their minds and I’m still able to receive the respect that a parent deserves.

photo by: reb